Everyone is a hero

Point-of-view Everyone is a hero. I am a happy person. I'm an optimist and I see the good in people, even when their actions seem to hurt me. I give everyone the benefit of the doubt. After all, except for an unfortunately psychopathic minority, I believe that everyone acts according to what they think is right. Whether or not I agree with it is a completely different topic. Right now I want to talk about positive people, as opposed to negative people. The first dichotomy that springs to mind is the 50% water glass. Is the glass half full, or is it half empty? This image has been overworked to the point where it becomes a meaningless cliché... who cares? Let's get to the point. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a sop, and people can't just walk over me, because I WILL say something. But I firmly believe that every negative interaction has at least one iota of positive benefit. Recognizing and using that little sliver of good can be difficult, but it is extremely important. I've realized that someone very close to me is a black hole of negativity. In his world, everything has a dark side. He sees wrong where I see right. He sees failure where I see progress. He points out the tarnish, every time, on my silver lining. Every positive emotion muist hide some kind of plot or ploy. If he's not happy, no one is happy, and it is everyone else's fault. This is not good for me. I am not about to write a tutorial on how to deal with negative people. Instead, I will make a list of things I will do in an attempt to talk to this person in a way that doesn't send either of us to our respective arsenals of unproductive defense mechanisms. My three-strikes-you're-out mantra has faltered (probably three-fold by now), because I am certain that working through this is worth the frustration and tears. 1: What is the source? I guess the first thing to do is establish where this negativity comes from. I will not divulge personal details from his life, but there are a LOT of sources. A few of the unfortunate experiences of his childhood could be considered traumatic by any compassionate person. He has experienced a much more difficult home life than I have, and his upbringing was, according to his recollection, quite harsh. I have no choice but to accept his history verbatim. However, I have also heard him categorize somewhat less epic experiences as "traumatic", and I begin to wonder if this is a crutch. He has so many 'traumas' that I find I have to torque my words to the point of pedantry in an attempt to skirt all of his 'trigger' words. Little progress here. 2: Smile and nod This is my safe-place. Maybe it's my upbringing, but I am very good at turning to stone when I know that speaking my mind will not improve the situation. Some people bubble up like hot lava, or burst like a boiling geyser and burn when the pressure is too much. My fuse is much longer. I'm like the fault line between the tectonic plates of our opinions. I can tolerate it for a very long time. I can internalize all kinds of hurt until one day, a raw crack is chipped. Everything falls. The smile-and-nod approach is not a good strategy for me. 3: Be ostentatiously positive This is also a fall-back of mine. When Someone tells me something that they just hate, I try to tell them that it could actually be a good thing. This is most often viewed my Most People as an attack, seeking to debase their horizon of failure. This attack to my positivity is especially hurtful, when it happens. In my worldview, there is LOTS of bad stuff. I am only one little person. However, I am one little person with a big heart, and maybe even a big enough brain to do a little bit of good. So when someone I trust turns out to be a "you're always wrong" person, that is a very unwelcome addition to what I already get from all sides. Yes, I know that my dreams and ambitions are idealistic, but throwing poop in my face isn't going to help anyone. I'm too tired and sad to post any more tonight. But please, the three of you who read this, don't get discouraged by those you say that what you think is worthless. Because it isn't. New thoughts bring new ideas, new ideas bring change, and change is what we need.